Is your workplace a safe place to be at? Is your boss attracted to you? Do you feel any employee is crossing their boundaries with you? Do you feel comfortable in your workplace?
Often it happens at a workplace that you may feel your intuition screaming of someone being attracted to you or flirting with you, either appropriately or inappropriately. The dynamics of attraction, infatuation, love are quite complex and confusing at a workplace.
Miss. A reached out to SageAdvice with a similar workplace issue asking advice related to her boss who probably flirts on the pretext of appreciating her work. She is not able to handle it and is unsure of what to do?
How can we help her?
Our panel counselors came to rescue Miss A’s problem and a couple of views came forward
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Swapnil Maurya, an expert panel counselor, says it is important for A to protect her role and she can try letting her boss down so he has no excuse for flirting with her. He further says that romantic relationships at work, especially getting involved with a boss can jeopardize her position and may invite gossip for fellow employees. As the gossip fills the office rooms, she might as well be forced to file a complaint against her boss which can lead to her resigning. A possible way out of this according to Swapnil is to set a meeting to talk to her boss about her feelings and how uncomfortable she feels around him in a subtle respectful way as there can also be a possibility of misunderstanding his behavior to flirting therefore a polite, mature and sensible conversation can be the best way out according to Swapnil while Miss A also gets to maintain her dignity.
Dr. Preeti Prabha also shares her suggestion regarding Miss A’s problem mentioning we often hear stories of female employees facing difficult situations at work. Usually what we see is that no one ever questions the boss but a lot of fingers are raised questioning the female employees’ character. You might have heard remarks like she must have provoked him, she must have done something to encourage that behavior, look at the length of her clothes, she seeks male attention, she is flirting with the boss for a promotion, etc. Such negativity from your workplace ends up stressing you more and shows up in your work as your productivity decreases. It is important to identify and organize your thoughts before you take an action in such situations is what Dr. Preeti suggests Miss A. She also warns Miss A to not meet her boss outside the office premises as it might have a negative impact rather she can fix a meeting with her boss at a safe and comfortable place inside the office to discuss her concerns. Discouraging him subtly will help maintain her dignity, establish boundaries, and hopefully will get the work done.
In the Indian culture, we have a lot of boundary-defining issues so it’s about time we start prioritizing our mental health and not letting people cross well-defined boundaries. Learning to say no and establishing boundaries is essential to be at a happier place in life.
We hope these pointers will be helpful for Miss A and everyone else facing similar problems. If you have any further questions to be addressed or need to reach out / discuss some similar situation – your ‘Personal Support System’ SageAdvice is always available. Or feel free to drop us a Whatsapp message on +91-88376-95868 and we will get back to you within 24hours. Keep calling in and sharing your experiences, we are here to help you build a better life.