As grown-ups, we all have faced rejection in our lives whether it be from a lover, a friend, or a job. The bottom line though for all types of rejection stays the same- it hurts! Rejections leave you wondering if you are good enough for the person or opportunity. Self-doubt creeps in and takes a toll on your self-esteem. If we let rejections hold us back then it can have long-term negative and debilitating effects on our mental health.
A similar dilemma was faced by one of our Ask SageAdvice participants in a query- “I am Tanu, 27 and working. I am attracted to my colleague. He approached me with a live-in proposal after we had been in a serious relationship for a few months. Due to the pandemic and lockdown, I had to return to my parents’ house as I lost the job. He was supportive throughout with phone calls and chats. But suddenly his attitude has changed and he says it’s over. I can’t get over the shock and it feels like rejection.
What can I do?”
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Tanu surely sounds distressed and the correct way to first approach the situation is to understand what led the person to discontinue the relationship when he was ready to move in together a while back. Communicating with the partner about possible reasons can give her the closure she needs and can move forward towards the healing process. An emotional catharsis, cognitive behavioral therapy, and acceptance-commitment therapy come in handy is handy to benefit her here if she decided to seek professional help.
Our panel counselors believe there are ways you can deal better with rejection and come out stronger. Rejections don’t mean the end of all. And we have listed a few points that are suggested by our mental health team to help you overcome rejection without putting yourself down:
- Do not form any assumptions about your worth based on the rejection. Someone rejecting you doesn’t say anything about you except the fact that the two are not compatible together which is definitely a rational argument. Think about it, are you always compatible with who you meet?
- Process your emotions and take as much time as you want to do so. A good exercise to make associations between your emotions and cognitions is that you first randomly write all the emotions you are feeling down and repeat this with the thoughts that are coming to your mind. Match the emotions with the thoughts to make things clearer for you.
- Spend time with the people you love to feel wanted and appreciated. Rejection can make us feel like we are not worth the happiness but the company of our loved ones can always be a mood booster.
- Be kind to yourself and do whatever you would enjoy moving forward. Don’t let rejections hold you back and affect your future. Every successful person has faced rejections throughout their life that’s what counts as experience and wisdom later.
- Finally, maintain a healthy lifestyle and stick to healthy habits. Not getting enough sleep, eating junk, spiraling thoughts can all make you vulnerable to a slower recovery and mental health disorders. Do a healthy routine for yourself!
If you find these tips helpful or have any further queries you can reach out to SageAdvice. Feel free to drop us a Whatsapp message on +91-88376-95868 and we will get back to you within 24hours. Keep calling in and sharing your experiences, we are here to help you build a better life.